Behold

“If we want to be held, we have to behold."

"Being held is being seen and heard in a way that affirms our very existence, much the way the sun affirms a flower into blooming.”

Mark Nep0

I watched her leave as I gathered my things from the locker at the gym. She was dressed in grey, and her hair was cropped short. She had a straight posture and walked with purpose -her stride was long and strong.

Finished my workout and inspired by Long and Strong, I engaged my core, straightened my posture, and left the change room for home. Admittedly, I was less purposeful as I moved and more rush-ful. I was already falling behind in my morning schedule.

Nonetheless, I was surprised when I caught her in my sight nearing the exit door. Still straight and purposeful, Long and Strong had slowed her pace significantly, and introduced an extended pause between each step.

I slowed myself down, almost to a stop, as my mind tried to make sense of what I was seeing, and then I saw Her.

Dressed in beige with hair to match, She stood under 5 feet tall. She was older than us, by how much I am not sure. She moved differently. Her back was curved, and her shoulders rolled forward and to one side. Her stride seemed to move her sideways and forwards, and she had a significant lift on one of her shoes. She too moved with purpose and determination, unaware of our presence.

I lingered behind, taking it all in.

Long and Strong had slowed down to allow Her the time and space to exit the building. Long and Strong didn’t rush to pass Her, or jump ahead to open the door for her. She simply allowed Her to move, at her own pace, towards her destination.

After we took our turns to exit, I strolled home -savouring the beauty and grace I had just witnessed. No one needed fixing or rescuing here. No one was ignored or passed over. The noblest of acts in this case was each of us holding space for ourselves and the Other. We witnessed rather than imposed ourselves. It was transformative. It created space in me, room for joy, and I quietly wished them both a day full of moments, like this, to savour.

The seductiveness to reactively help or rescue someone can rob another of their ability to step into the light and our ability to behold them.

"Attention is an act of connection."

Julia Cameron

That day, I was reminded that beholding another is a generous offering all on its own.

With so much love,

Shannon

Photo by Nature Uninterrupted Photography on Unsplash